tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18863760488607677662024-03-13T23:50:35.924-07:00Babylon BlogsAt long last, someone from the United States willing to offer his opinions.Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-62454103381214241472011-03-03T13:52:00.000-08:002011-03-03T15:54:15.562-08:00When You Believe In Things, That You Don't Understand...<span style="font-size:78%;"><em>A song parody, with apologies to Stevie Wonder</em>:<br /><br />Bad conservatism, breaking teachers backs<br />Bad conservatism, while Exxon don't pay tax<br />Thirteen month old baby, can't have no health care<br />Only when he was a fetus,were you concerned for his welfare<br /><br />If you believe you'd be safer, if we'd just nuke Iran<br />We all suffer...<br />Conservatism ain't the way<br /><br />Bad conservatism, scream at the First Lady<br />The Bill of Rights allows you,to contract Diabetes<br />If you let homos marry, all marriage is blown off-course<br />I learned that from Rush Limbaugh, after his third divorce<br /><br />When you believe that Jesus and Reagan were one man<br />We all suffer...<br />Conservatism ain't the way, yeh, yeh<br /><br />Bad conservatism, looking down your nose<br />At your lazy homeless ex-neighbors, on whom the bank foreclosed<br />Eight years of wars and tax cuts, the deficit ain't hard to track<br />But now there's a dem in office, and you 'want your country back'<br /><br />If you believe a socialist gave nine billion to banks<br />We all suffer...</span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Conservatism ain't the way, no</span>, <span style="font-size:78%;">no, no</span>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-81881436849857347662011-03-01T05:34:00.000-08:002011-03-01T16:21:09.041-08:00Progressivism Is Failing ItselfWe're still talking about birthers. Articles about them continually pop up on HuffPo, along with any number of other progressive websites. They are so tenacious in their delusion that the black guy is from Africa, that the state of Hawaii is considering a law that would charge them for a peek at Obama's (clearly forged) birth certificate. Just to blunt the constant stream of the birthers dogged sleuthing.<br /><br />That we're still obligated to discuss the comings and goings of this group of people who find the present so unacceptable they've created a shadow world, is bad enough. But if you read past the articles themselves you find something much worse in the comment sections: We're still <em>debating </em>the birthers.<br /><br />Oh sure, we're kicking their asses. We've got logic and fact on our side, and we know just what to say, <em>because we've been having this debate for two years now.</em> We damn well ought to be able to win that argument. So why in the world are we still having the argument at all?<br /><br />Since George W. Bush ran for the office of President of the United States of America, a position he was comically unqualified to hold, progressives have been losing ground in America. That this preppie fool, this faux cowboy who was an abject failure at every single thing he ever attempted, was allowed to be battering-rammed through the doors of the oval office, should have been a massive red flag to progressives everywhere. How much clearer an indication could we have been given that we were being shouldered out of the process?<br /><br />We were sneering, amused; more than prepared to debate the issues with this fumbling boob and his followers. And that's when they had us cold.<br /><br />Because the G.O.P. couldn't have cared less about the facts. They had become a product, and they were no longer interested in winning debates, they only cared about winning elections. How often over the last decade have you heard a Republican strategist or pundit use the word 'branding'?<br /><br />The Powers-That-Be stopped looking for politicians they could groom and began choosing mascots; amiable-seeming characters vetted by focus groups and taught to read the script. Bush wasn't a politician as much as he was a logo, or a corporate image. He, and most subsequent high-profile Repubs have little more substance than Aunt Jemima, Twinkie the Kid, or Ronald McDonald.<br /><br />They are little more than a representation of some ideals that corporations believe <em>enough</em> Americans will embrace to 'further the brand'. Bush was a product of prep-schools and the Ivy league, born a billionaire and raised on the east coast, he was given the trappings and persona of a cowboy.<br /><br />It's tempting to digress (even more) here, and compare all the other similarities between W. and Twinkie the Kid, but you get the point.<br /><br />Republicans are successfully supplanting imagery for actual politicians. Sarah Palin, for example, is such a carefully crafted and obsessively managed creation, there should be a five note jingle that plays every time she appears on-screen.<br /><br />Facts, even obvious realities, are meaningless in this context. Like the CEO's of the corporations that are now very much in charge could tell you; perception IS reality.<br /><br />McDonald's is a hamburger restaurant that has 169 franchise stores in India. They just don't sell beef <em>in those stores. A</em>nd that's good enough. News Corp. spends money, time, and effort frightening their base about the dangers of communism, but they have massive dealings with the government of China...They even have partnered with North Korea in the development of video games.<br /><br />It no longer matters what you know, at least regarding political debate. Facts are obsolete in the current conversation.<br /><br />That's why you can spend two years winning the birther debate, and still lose the mid-terms. The G.O.P. isn't creating new ideas. Everything they bring to public discourse has already been proven wrong, even dangerous to democracy. They're still selling Reagonomics, even as the crater the economy is in, is still smoking from the free ride we've allowed corporate America.<br /><br />But mainly what they are doing is keeping the left engaged in culture wars, that have no place in 21st century dialogue at all, and unquestionably does not belong in current political discussion.<br /><br />Abortion, religious freedom, basic human rights for American citizens, have somehow found their way back into the conversation. It's a calculated effort on the part of the right to otherwise engage us, while they ransack and embezzle what little remains of the U.S. economy.<br /><br />And we're buying into it; it's been a successful strategy. We're liberals, for the most part, on the left. We're empathetic and we really <em>believe </em>in the ideals we were taught; All Men <em>Are </em>Created Equal.<br /><br />That's why when they use 'christian values' to discriminate against the LBGT community, we rush into the debate. That's why when they try to portray schoolteachers as greedy government cheats, we respond with outrage.<br /><br />It's the reason we google NBC/Universal and ABC/Disney's holdings, when someone tells us about liberal bias in the media. We arm ourselves with facts, and history, and we stop what we're doing to <em>prove </em>that the things we are saying are right.<br /><br />And we continue to lose ground.<br /><br />Because <em>we are progressives; we progress. </em>At any given moment, if we are not progressing we are surely losing ground. When we engage in debate over civil rights, or the importance of education, or healthcare, or over the existence of the birth cretificate of the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES FOR GOD'S SAKE, we are losing.<br /><br />I once spent a good deal of time debating conservatives on a political website. For far too long, I answered the same arguments with the same answers, over and over. Often, to the same people. Finally it struck me that, no matter how witty my responses were, regardless of how urbane, or stark, or easily provable my points were, <em>I was losing every argument.</em><br /><em></em><br />Because these people don't give a hoot in hell about facts. They are either the same people who believe that W. was a cowboy, and that their cookies are made by elves in a hollow tree, or else they're the people who make their money by convincing your fellow Americans of those things.<br /><br />They are speedbumps. They have been put in your pathway, for the sole purpose of slowing your progress. If you are against progressivism as a philosophy, or a political force, every speedbump is a victory. Every impediment they can throw up, is a win.<br /><br />The right is now made up almost entirely of people who believe in the 'American Dream', that carrot on a stick that says that they too, can have it all. So don't let the left steal the fortune you're surely going to have, to pay for the things you need right now.<br /><br />I haven't watched a lot of A<em>merican Idol,</em> but I've seen enough to realize that every single person who auditions, truly believes they're going to be the winner. Like dickensian orphans, they're waiting for their benevolant, wealthy , <em>real family</em> to recognize them and whisk them away to their opulent birthright. It doesn't matter how off-key or jolting their voice may be, they know in their heart they deserve a title.<br /><br />Like those hopeful crooners, much of the American right is blithely waiting their turn to become millionaires and they don't want the socialist left ruining it for them, when it happens. Or else they <em>are </em>cultural warriors, sad dreamers and zealots who have been hypnotized into believing in an idyllic past that never was, but could be again, if only gays don't marry and no black people are better off then they are. And if every fetus grows up to believe that Jesus wants to destroy all Muslims<br /><br />But we already know that's all bullshit. <em>We've already fought, and won these wars. </em>Americans have fought and died for decades to win those rights that we accept as the very minimum standard of what if means to be 'free'.<br /><br />It profanes the memory of the human beings who fought and died to procure those rights to debate their value now. We <em>have </em>overcome.<br /><br />America stands on the brink of a plutocracy. Billionaires have filled our government with silly insincere spokescreatures, to take away any of the money we may have retained after they have cheated us into wars and personal bankruptcies. Now more than ever we need to find solutions to break the starnglehold they have on our democracy, and right the ship of state.<br /><br />We can no longer waste valuable time squabbling with fools and imposters over birth certificates and teachers paychecks. Progressives have to sweep these strawmen, these 'issues' off the table once and for all. We have allowed the least of us to air their thoughts and we have learned again they have no ideas to offer.<br /><br />We need to meet the real problems, address the real enemies. Time is too precious now, to continue the conceit that every voice is valuable. Every time you repeat an argument to someone on the right, they have taken you off course. We waste our resources and we waste our breath too often answering echoes.Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-11195780612437840082011-01-26T10:59:00.000-08:002011-01-26T10:59:54.771-08:00The Bears' Jay Cutler Is A Righteous Dude - SB Nation Chicago<a href="http://chicago.sbnation.com/chicago-bears/2011/1/26/1957060/the-bears-jay-cutler-is-a-righteous-dude">The Bears' Jay Cutler Is A Righteous Dude - SB Nation Chicago</a>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-42341496959399023562010-12-26T08:08:00.000-08:002010-12-26T08:08:15.333-08:00The Buddy System: How Buddy Ryan Is Still Shaping NFL Defenses - SB Nation Chicago<a href="http://chicago.sbnation.com/chicago-bears/2010/12/25/1895952/chicago-bears-buddy-system-how-buddy-ryan-is-still-shaping-nfl-defenses">The Buddy System: How Buddy Ryan Is Still Shaping NFL Defenses - SB Nation Chicago</a>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-44474957858066262752010-12-02T06:27:00.000-08:002010-12-02T06:27:48.746-08:00'The Wreck Of The Lions Of Detroit' - A Season In Song - SB Nation Chicago<a href="http://chicago.sbnation.com/chicago-bears/2010/12/1/1849294/nfl-detroit-lions-chicago-bears-song-calvin-johnson-julius-peppers">'The Wreck Of The Lions Of Detroit' - A Season In Song - SB Nation Chicago</a>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-10688001647893735562010-11-22T15:37:00.000-08:002010-11-22T15:37:40.868-08:00Vikings Fire Brad Childress; Ex-Bear Leslie Frazier Replaces Him - SB Nation Chicago<a href="http://chicago.sbnation.com/chicago-bears/2010/11/22/1829985/brad-childress-fired-vikings-head-coach-leslie-frazier">Vikings Fire Brad Childress; Ex-Bear Leslie Frazier Replaces Him - SB Nation Chicago</a>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-46321425572738697002010-11-17T06:05:00.000-08:002010-11-17T06:05:04.646-08:00Chicago Bears Vs. Miami Dolphins Thursday Night: Short Week, High Hopes - SB Nation Chicago<a href="http://chicago.sbnation.com/chicago-bears/2010/11/15/1815196/chicago-bears-miami-dolphins-nfl-network-thursday-tyler-thigpen-jay-cutler">Chicago Bears Vs. Miami Dolphins Thursday Night: Short Week, High Hopes - SB Nation Chicago</a>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-66493828460666703262010-11-13T13:07:00.000-08:002010-11-13T13:07:55.438-08:00Brett Favre Has Acted The Part Of The Hero Long Enough. It's Time To Yell "Cut" - SB Nation Chicago<a href="http://chicago.sbnation.com/chicago-bears/2010/11/12/1810775/brett-favre-nfl-minnesota-vikings-hero-jenn-sterger">Brett Favre Has Acted The Part Of The Hero Long Enough. It's Time To Yell "Cut" - SB Nation Chicago</a>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-39999957055152552652010-04-07T05:47:00.000-07:002010-04-07T08:41:02.947-07:00Lesbian Girl Helps Unite Community of Small-Minded Crackers<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3icBcr1_Tw">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3icBcr1_Tw</a><br /><br />Let this be a lesson to you girl: Don’t come around where you know you don’t belong.<br />They’re riding on the avenue and probably coming after you and they all look mean and strong.<br />Mean and strong like liquor.<br />Mean and strong like fear.<br />Strong like the people from South Alabama and mean like the people from here.<br /><br />We ain’t never gonna change.<br />We ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong.<br />We ain’t never gonna change<br />So shut your mouth and play along.<br /><br />-Drive By Truckers, 'Never Gonna Change'<br />~~~~~~~~<br /><br />Every year at this time, we see a story or two about it; The gay kid who wants to attend the prom. As a society, we should be beyond this. Way beyond. It shouldn't be a story, it shouldn't be news.<br /><br />It's a disservice to all of us, even when it's supposed to be positive, even when the message is how well the event played out. We read 'interviews' with the heterosexual attendees, where they all say they were fine with it, and no collateral sexual identities was damaged. How many times are we supposed to clasp our hands to our hearts and sing Whitney Houston songs about children being the future?<br /><br />It's not news when no one is offended by something that's none of their god damn business. Or at least it shouldn't be, not anymore.<br /><br />Indoor plumbing isn't newsworthy anymore, not even when some wretched hill folk who've never encountered it before, are frightened by it. It's just a fact that it exists. Our society doesn't put up outhouses on our Main Streets, to accommodate people who aren't ready to accept bathrooms.<br /><br />And homosexuality has actually been around quite a bit longer. So why are we still entertaining the opinions of people who want it to 'go away'?<br /><br />Everybody already knows by now, the story of Constance MacMillen, the young lesbian girl who wanted to go to her prom. A normal and modest enough goal, you would think. But instead, she had to battle a prejudice that seemingly engulfed an entire county in the state of Miss..<br /><br />A Federal court, told them they were not free to discriminate. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA told them, it was not permissible to treat a young girl, practically a child, as a pariah.<br /><br />But these good folks have a view of the world that's as self-serving, as it is small. Oh, they're all about God and Country. But they'll change either one of those things any which way they can, until the message suits their motives.<br /><br />So they set up a fake prom. They. Set. Up. A. Fake. Prom. An entire community, children and adults. Citizens and school administrators. They set up a place, and seeded it with a handful of other youngsters shunned by these 'people'. The lesbian and the learning disabled, and one or two other kids who would do well to celebrate the fact that they were cut from that particular herd. It will only benefit them later in life to be grateful to be excluded from this grotesquerie of a mini-caste, these grubby cretins, enfeebled by their own hatefulness.<br /><br />How hard they worked to hold on to their petty hostility, they hoarded their prejudice like it was pirate gold, they secreted it away and held it aloft to glory in it for a few private hours.<br /><br />How did it feel to them, this momentary <em>victory</em>? Was it the decadent, exhilarating high of the criminal who made off with a coveted prize? Or did they dance all night in their tuxes and gowns, with the grim satisfaction that some southerners get, when they've once again fended off the will of the present culture?<br /><br />It doesn't matter. Who cares why? My personal opinion, based on stories coming from the south (and other places too, sure.) is that there are people in America, who feel they have a right to prejudice. A right to amend discrimination laws, to exclude some other Americans.<br /><br />They're looking for a loophole, in which it is permissible to allow some group less rights than they are afforded.<br /><br />It doesn't matter why they feel that way. We can no longer indulge their voices in the conversation.<br />~~~~~~<br />Tomorrow, 'Why they feel that way'.<br /><br />Here's a bonus link, the story itself, won't give you anymore insight but maybe the guy in the comments section whose ramblings vacillate between Jesus hating gays, and lesbian vaginal afflictions, can help you understand the school board's case.<br /><a href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/04/miss-lesbian-attends--fake-prom-as-classmates-party-in-secret/1">http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/04/miss-lesbian-attends--fake-prom-as-classmates-party-in-secret/1</a>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-49475444374393864852010-04-03T13:17:00.000-07:002010-04-03T13:32:25.663-07:00The Peter Doctor's PrinciplesDr Jack Cassell doesn't want to see Obama supporters urine anymore.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36152956/ns/health-health_care/">http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36152956/ns/health-health_care/</a><br /><br />At least that what he says. But can he be sure?<br /><br />After all, he's never seen your urine. Or where it comes from. <br /><br />Just sayin'.<br /><br /><br /><a class="l" onmousedown="return clk(this.href,'','','res','1','','0CAsQFDAA')" title="Urology of Mt Dora: Cassell Jack MD" href="http://www.mountdoraghostwalk.com/">Urology of Mt Dora: Cassell Jack MD</a><br /><a href="http://www.mountdoraghostwalk.com/">http://www.mountdoraghostwalk.com/</a><br /><br />717 North Donnelly Street<br />Mt Dora, FL 32757-4833,<br />United States<br />(352) 383-3773Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-51055712727251350022010-03-27T08:27:00.000-07:002010-03-27T15:25:08.947-07:00Ballad Pt2; Skank-Shanked!<p align="center">"With all their beady little eyes</p><p align="center">And flapping heads so full of lies</p><p align="center">Blame Canada!"</p><p align="center">~~~</p><p align="center">-Sheila Broslovsky</p><p align="center"> </p><p align="center">“Since I’ve arrived in Canada, I’ve been denounced on the floor of Parliament — which, by the way, is on my bucket list — my posters have been banned, I’ve been accused of committing a crime in a speech that I have not yet given, I was banned by the student council, so welcome to Canada!”</p><p align="center">~~~</p><p align="center">-Ann Coulter</p><p align="left"> </p><p align="left">Can you spot the true statement in the above sentence? Ann Coulter's I mean, not Mrs. Broslovsky's, a woman who may be Coulter's only rival for both cartoonishness and agenda driven Canada bashing. </p><p align="left">Give up?</p><p align="left">"I've arrived in Canada." One true statement, told only as a springboard, to be used to leap into a pool of excrement, where you'd imagine she feels most at home. Her relevance in the U.S. at low ebb, Coulter launched a P.R. attack on unsuspecting Canada, using her well-worn catalog of easy stereotypes and ugly cliches to try to battle her way back into the limelight. An offensive offensive, if you will. She created a goldmine of out-of-context 'slights' to report to her dwindling fan base back home, painting herself as the brave stormer of a castle that had all but rolled out the red carpet for her arrival.</p><p align="left">But who did Brave Sir Ann really slay in her quest for <em>matterdom </em>?</p><p align="left">By my count: One young girl, a college Provost who offered her counsel, her hosts and benefactors for the evening, and of course her two most elusive enemies: Honesty and Irony.</p><p align="left">The young girl was cut down for the sins of being of middle eastern heritage, and making a very human, very affecting statement. It was essentially ' Because of statements you've made, I'm afraid to be in airports.' Ann's response? "Then ride a camel."</p><p align="left">Sa-NAP! Who wouldn't want someone that witty lecturing their leaders of tomorrow, amiright?</p><p align="left">Well, THAT got some attention, and Ann like any rock star or circus geek, knows when you've got their attention, it's time to kick it up a notch. That's when she fired back at the Provost of University of Ottawa, Francois Houle for accusing her of 'committing a crime in a speech she had not yet given'. Or, as she calls him "A-Houle." A-Houle, get it? </p><p align="left">Whew. Whatever they're paying her, it's not enough!*</p><p align="left">And what kind of reactionary-socialist-monster would make such a brazen accusation? No kind, really. What actually happened was, a career academic whose job it is to make sure such things run smoothly, sent Coulter an e-mail welcoming her (rather effusively) to his campus.</p><p align="left">Here's the entire transcript:<a href="http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=2710037">http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=2710037</a></p><p align="left">He does caution her about the differences between Canadian and American laws. But that's just a courtesy, isn't it? When people from the States come to visit me, I caution them about several things. The speed limit signs are in <em>kilometers not miles</em>, don't get a speeding ticket. It was a nicety that he performed in the course of his job.</p><p align="left">I suppose if you're the type of vicious unprincipled thug who's comfortable calling a young girl a camel jockey (essentially), you may be paranoid enough to misinterpret someone else's graciousness as threatening behavior. But to be sure, that's the way she spun it when she leaked it to the press.</p><p align="left">With conservatives like Ann, the help you offer may not be as valuable as the help that can be attained from you. That's how you make headlines, if you're distasteful enough to be controversial, but not interesting enough to fill a hall.</p><p align="left">Well that got asses in the seats, with asses left over. Really, from Ann's perspective there was nothing left to do. Certainly no reason to fulfill her contractual obligations. It's not her fault the University/campus security/demonstrators/Ottawa Police demanded the appearance be cancelled, is it?</p><p align="left">Here's a link that shows how none of those things happened:</p><p align="left"><a href="http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/Organizers+university+cancelled+Coulter/2721580/story.html">http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/Organizers+university+cancelled+Coulter/2721580/story.html</a></p><p align="left">So she lied. So she mobilized the aging frat boys who frequent her website to perpetuate the lie. They LOVE Ann, and it's only not because she talks just like one of the guys from Omega House that used to spank you in your underpants....It's also that she looks like one of those guys but is, technically, a woman. Unless you're elected to Public Office, a conservative's gotta keep those feelings repressed!</p><p align="left">But this isn't about that! It's about.....FREE SPEECH! Yeah That's it, FREE SPEECH! Ann LOVES the free speech! Oh, you didn't know that about her? Hell yeah. She's a fierce advocate of the right to free expression!</p><p align="left">And to prove it, she took her show to Calgary, in the more conservative (at least by the socialist standards of Canada, wink-wink) praries,where they had to change venues form a 400 seat hall to a 1000 seat hall, where Good Sir Ann who was now describing herself as a "hate-crime victim" would preach the gospel of beautiful, glorious free speech!</p><p align="left">Oh, by the way? "“While there will be a Q&A to ensure open, intellectual discussion between attendees of the event and Ann Coulter, the Question and Answer period will be moderated, and any sort of ranting, heckling, or otherwise disrupting of the event will result in removal by security and/or police...As well, individuals caught recording this event will be removed.”</p><p align="left"><a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/prairies/snubbed-by-ottawa-ann-coulter-finds-audience-in-calgary/article1512663/">http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/prairies/snubbed-by-ottawa-ann-coulter-finds-audience-in-calgary/article1512663/</a></p><p align="left">You can almost taste the freedom! I want to know all about Ann the Victim's heroic tale of overcoming the adversity she single-handedly manufactured. </p><p align="left">No officers, I DON'T have any questions!</p><p align="left">~~~~~~</p><p align="left">* As mentioned in Part1, they were paying her 10,000 Cdn, down roughly 150% from her speaking fees from two short years ago. For those of you cynical enough to suspect that would motivate her to create some controversy for attention? Yeah, I hear you.</p>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-25359986654261436142010-03-26T06:03:00.000-07:002010-03-26T08:30:17.245-07:00Ballad of A Thin Mantis<div align="center"><em>Well, you walk into the room</em></div><div align="center"><em>Like a camel and then you frown</em></div><div align="center"><em>You put your eyes in your pocket</em></div><div align="center"><em>And your nose on the ground</em></div><div align="center"><em>There ought to be a law</em></div><div align="center"><em>Against you comin' around</em></div><div align="center"><em>You should be made To wear earphones.</em></div><div align="center"><em>~~~</em></div><div align="center"><em>Bob Dylan</em></div><div align="center"><em></em></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">The hate speech industry is at an all time boom. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting someone who is also swinging a dead cat. In order to get noticed in that vast sea of belligerent shrieking, you have to keep upping the ante. All the big players have their shtick. Rush wheezes bombastic pronouncements that nobody ever seems to call him on. The only job in the world less demanding than being Limbaugh's fact-checker would be fire-watcher in the Petrified Forest. </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">Then there's Glenn Beck, the current leading light of paranoid dementia, who relies heavily on visual aids. He employs puppets, Nazi symbology, rehearsed crying jags, and a blackboard to create a sort of Sesame Street on PCP. (Sponsored by the letters 'Au', the symbol for gold, which you should start hoarding in anticipation of the Apocalypse)A hyperbolic hellscape that makes Dante look like Kenneth the NBC Page.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">So one might be inclined to feel sorry for Ann Coulter. That is one might, if she were not such a cynical, black-hearted, corruption. Ichor-hearted, slavering, and malignant on a cellular level. She used to be right up there, at the top of the heap, a best selling 'author' a darling of media circus side-shows, hissing and blowing out wads of poison like a puff adder. She was the angular, rail-thin (she's so bony you'd think that good intentions and facts were nutrients) darling of 80's frat-boys everywhere.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">But lately she has fallen through the cracks (yeah, I went there) of fame's fickle stage. Book sales are down. Way down. As recently as 2008, she was getting 24,000$ for 40 minutes of sneering nationalistic race-baiting and Republican ass-kissing. (She once famously stated that Republicans are better lovers than Democrats, which I took to mean it's easier to find a drunken conservative in an airport hotel bar. If he can convince the Viagra to make the swim through his Chivas Regal thinned bloodstream long enough for him to bump his receding hairline against her Adam's apple for two minutes, all the better) In 2010, she's touring Canada, a country she's gleefully maligned in the past, for a comparatively paltry 10k Cdn.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">How the righty has fallen.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">But God bless the American Entrepreneurial Spirit, which states among other things, if anyone gives you a helping hand, screw them for all they're worth. And God bless Canada, likable, easy-going Canada, whose conservatives are mostly agreeable types imbued with the true spirit of the idea of conservatism. You know, just the sort of people American conservatives love to use up, and spit out.</div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left">So one might be inclined to feel sorry for Canada, again reduced to a stereotype, and used by a shrill, desperate has-been. That is one might, if they didn't know better. I do. Canada is a GREAT place to live, it's currently living up to an American Dream, that has long been co-opted by parasites like Coulter.</div><div align="left">~~~~~~</div><div align="left"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">Tomorrow: 'The Anatomy of a P.R. Back-Stabbing', or 'The Skank-Shanking'</div><div align="center"></div><div align="left"></div>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-29226658601036750302010-03-05T05:23:00.000-08:002010-03-05T07:51:51.980-08:00I Am The Outlaw Of SCIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXLmKfDJZfk5glp9ewDeXMum4AwVZH-ua53WU2-m3oPXYGCUvx622K3qg6wv1V00rXxUB7p46ikJoN-TBa6J9atcBGxT7x-rkAvnNRw9jlslWIfNvL-jXN7xFC9YA1N9gxTyXvqz3EoOJb/s1600-h/science.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5445150239349153154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 218px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXLmKfDJZfk5glp9ewDeXMum4AwVZH-ua53WU2-m3oPXYGCUvx622K3qg6wv1V00rXxUB7p46ikJoN-TBa6J9atcBGxT7x-rkAvnNRw9jlslWIfNvL-jXN7xFC9YA1N9gxTyXvqz3EoOJb/s320/science.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div align="center"><strong><em>Good Heavens Miss Sakomoto, you're BEAUTIFUL!</em></strong></div><br /><br /><div><strong><em></em></strong></div><div><span style="color:#cccccc;">I'm taking the day off of frustrated bewilderment with conservativism today, to offer this startling confession: </span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></div><div><span style="color:#cccccc;">Few things in this world, make me as happy as hearing Thomas Dolby's 'She Blinded Me With Science'.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></div><div><span style="color:#cccccc;">This is an even more powerful admission, given that I'm something of a 'music snob', or 'hipster douchebag' if you prefer. In discussions about music, my choices (The Jayhawks, Gomez, Webb Wilder, John Prine, etc.) tend to draw a lot of blank stares. I'm cattily derisive about Top 40 music, and I believe everyone involved in the production of 'American Idol' should be tried at the Hague for crimes against humanity.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></div><div><span style="color:#cccccc;">Indeed, in 1982 when the song first came out, I was already firmly entrenched in the travelling circus known as the Grateful Dead. I happily rode out the Reagan years surrounded by tie-dye and patchouli, rarely engaging with Yuppies, red leather, hair mousse, and history's worst rock and roll.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></div><div><span style="color:#cccccc;">But MAN, I love 'She Blinded Me With Science'. The song and the accompanying video are brazenly weird,off-center, aggressively demented.</span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></div><div><span style="color:#cccccc;">In other words, it speaks to me. </span></div><br /><br /><div><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></div><div><span style="color:#cccccc;">And it still does. If I happen to hear it on the radio, I'll stop whatever I'm doing to turn it up and dance along, yelling the word "SCIENCE!" along with Magnus Pike, the U.K. scientist on the recording and video...And yes that includes pointing my finger in the air, with a rather demented 'Eureka' look on my face.</span></div><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;">Sometimes I don't even wait for the song to come on. Sometimes the room just seems too quiet, or noisy. Sometimes I just want to see what will happen. It's long been my dream to shout it into a P.A. somewhere, in public. A dream, sadly, deferred. </span><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;">Until last Tuesday.<br /><br /></span><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;">Last Tuesday my lovely, long-suffering <em>L'Amour de ma Vie</em> and I brushed off our liberal guilt and anti-corporate hostility, and made our monthly trip to Wal-Mart. It was there in that most-hated of retail stores, in the greeting card section, I saw it...The phone.<br /><br /><br />You know the one. They're in every big store you frequent, in every department. Grocery, sporting goods, electronics. They're attached to a wall or girder, and they've got programmable buttons to connect you with other departments, manager's office...<br /><br /><br />...And <em>'page'. </em>The button you push to call someone to your section for clean-up, re-stocking, and of course (gulp) security. The MAGIC button. The one that they show you how to use, because it's NEVER marked.<br /><br /><br />Until last Tuesday. We were innocently perusing the birthday cards when I saw the phone, and the button with 'page' penciled in next to it.<br /><br /><br />My eyes got wide. I looked around. I whispered to my companion, who shrugged and gave me a look that said, "<em>Go ahead, you know you want to. Get it over with." </em>It also seemed to say, "<em>Yes. Do it you mad, impetuous fool, I am aflame with desire to see this grand scheme of yours come to fruition. I hold you far above all other men, mere mortals that they are."</em><br /><br /><br />I'm not entirely sure about the last part, as I was moving quickly now, but it stands to reason she'd think that. Right?<br /><br /><br />So anyway, I pick up the receiver, held it against my ear, and pressed page. It made a couple of beeping noises, and then a little white-noise hiss. And I did it.<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ff0000;">"SCIENCE!!!!"</span></strong><br /><br /></span><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span><p></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;"> I quickly hung up the phone. I looked around to see if I'd been spotted. I put on a casual air, and picked up a talking card, pretending to chuckle at the wit of Larry The Cable Guy, ("Git 'r Done"?...How PRICELESS!) glancing furtively up and down the aisle. Everything seemed fine.</span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;">The rest of the shopping trip, I listened for the P.A. to call security on me, and strolled the aisles, whistling 'She Blinded Me With Science' and feeling very much like I'd gotten away with something. It's always a little kick, to have imagined doing something silly or fun, and being able to cross it off your list.</span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;">Or not.</span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;">Maybe it'll just escalate. I know the button now. On the Lucent brand phone, second row, 4th from the top.</span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;">Science.</span></p><p><span style="color:#333333;"></span></p>Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-66553229108079511602010-02-20T08:01:00.000-08:002010-02-20T12:03:53.699-08:00Battle Of The Network Stars- 21st Century Edition<strong>Commisars and Pin-Striped Bosses roll the dice, anyway they fall guess who gets to pay the price?</strong><br /><br />In the latter part of the middle of the last century, when I was a child...I'm old...saturday morning was almost too good to bear. I'd be up at the crack of dawn, the TV set on, still showing the test pattern with the picture of the Indian in his headress ,(we didn't have 24 hour programming back then, or infomercials...We didn't even have racial sensitivity and we called Native Americans 'Indians') waiting for the cartoons to start.<br /><br />I loved saturday morning cartoons. I loved everything about them. I even loved the sponsors who were kind enough to provide the colorful bounty, most of them cartoon characters themselves. Thank you Cap'n Crunch! God bless you, Trix Rabbit! And yes...YES...<strong>YES!</strong> Yes, I DO want my milk to turn 'choclatey' in the bowl, Cocoa Puffs Cuckoo! Thank you for asking!<br /><br />Almost all the commercials were for breakfast cereal, and they all wanted only two things in this world...1) To give me the energy I needed to be a kid, and 2) To give me toys. Just GIVE them to me! Either right there inside the box, or in trade for a couple of measly box tops. Worthless box tops! We were just gonna throw them away anyhow!<br /><br />It was a paradise. All my cartoon friends and I got along, and we all lived in a harmonious, mutually beneficial society.<br /><br />Except for Quisp and Quake:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9NxmY5E4syInKRktCXunraFGzQBaJRAe4pOXMmRyob3PXMIq3xp2zxRGv3BsvehQ3Kti_5z3dZvc-kSELinIR_IBdhyphenhyphenyDb7IKWxSVX2s8vmDabx3GgsY9dnDkOT_Eokisgho4oq3U7U_z/s1600-h/po_kids_food_03.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440358620335934674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 222px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9NxmY5E4syInKRktCXunraFGzQBaJRAe4pOXMmRyob3PXMIq3xp2zxRGv3BsvehQ3Kti_5z3dZvc-kSELinIR_IBdhyphenhyphenyDb7IKWxSVX2s8vmDabx3GgsY9dnDkOT_Eokisgho4oq3U7U_z/s320/po_kids_food_03.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />These guys could NOT get along! It was always a fierce competition with them, each trying to convince us that their cereal was superior.<em> Sometimes going so far as to invade one another's commercials! </em><br /><br />As far as my sister and I were concerned, this was the conflict of the ages. There was no way to reconcile this chasm between these two vastly different pitchmen, the spaceman with a 'quazy' attitude and the down-to-earth rugged Quake. Even their boxes proclaimed their diametric opposition, with Quisp (my choice) a spacy liberal blue, and Quake (my sister's vote), with his red box and John Birch-like construction helmet. We argued about the relative merits of our man with passion and fervor, each declaring the other's cereal gross and inedible. My poor mother was forced to buy both, to keep the peace, lest cereal civil war break out at our table.<br /><br />Of course both of these products were not only manufactured by the same company, Quaker Oats, but were made of identical ingredients, corn meal and staggering amounts of high fructose corn syrup. The only difference were the packages and the shapes.<br /><br />These battles went on at our house until the day my mom read an article that quoted Ralph Nader as saying that all of these cereals were like "giving a kid a vitamin pill and a shot of whiskey." She stopped buying that kind of stuff altogether, and my sister and I patched things up, as we now had a common enemy: Corn Flakes. Although I'm still pretty 'blue', and she's a little on the 'red' side.<br /><br />Oh yeah...There's a big commotion going on right now between Seth MacFarlane and Sarah Palin. It's a big controversy centered around the sensitive subject of developmental disabilities. The two combatants both are very influential figures in popular culture, with Seth being irreverant and brash while Sarah is....I don't know...Reverant and brash.<br /><br />Anyway, both have large followings, one for his cartoon shows on Fox Network, which is owned by News Corp, the other for her frequent appearances on, and her high profile contract with Fox News Network, which is owned by News Corp.<br /><br />A lot of sources I respect and rely on for information (Bill Maher, Huffington Post, Truth Dig) have all come out gleefully chortling at Seth 'sticking it to' Sarah, and her phony outrage, and her frequent use of her Down's Syndrome child as a political football. And I don't disagree with the sentiment. And of course Bill O'Reilly and Sarah Palin are discussing it on Fox News and and the controversy escalates and escalates until it explodes, covering Rupert Murdoch (and Sarah and Seth) in a pile of money and influence.<br /><br />Ralph Nader already tried to explain this to us a couple of times, don't make me call my mom.Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-63800944906014618282010-02-17T09:41:00.000-08:002010-02-18T10:11:09.952-08:00The Media Medusa Pt.1<strong>Same as it Ever Was, Same as it Ever Was, Same. As. It. Ever. Was.</strong><br /><br />Whenever I find myself having a reasonable discussion on advertising (which is often), I invariably arrive at the same reasonable conclusion; Everyone in 'marketing' should be herded up and driven over a cliff like lemmings.<br /><br />And at the bottom of the cliff there should be broken glass, in case any of them survive the fall.<br /><br />And the glass should be covered in salt, so they can <em>really</em> think about what they did, in the time they have left.<br /><br />At first blush, this sounds a little extreme, I know. Bear with me.<br /><br />It's not hard to get me going on this subject. All that's needed is to turn on the TV, or the radio, or open a magazine, log onto a computer, attend a sporting event, see a bus, see a taxi, look inside the house, look OUTSIDE...Well, you get the idea. So in order to keep myself from ranting incoherently, I'm going to break it down in pieces of no particular order or size.<br /><br />Today's installment: The Auto Industry<br /><br />Between the U.S. and Canada, billions of dollars were pumped into bailing out the floundering corporations, a desperate attempt to save badly needed manufacturing jobs. Their business model, building cheap, shoddy, gadget-laden crap, had been going swimmingly for decades. Every year the corners that got cut in quality, which SHOULD have resulted in a loss of profits, got made up for with marketing savvy.<br /><br />They stopped selling well-built, durable goods, and started selling us shiny, slickly designed 'lifestyle' accessories. Family cars gave way to behemoth SUV's, as commercials featured happy moms 'having it all' and driving through ravines and up mountains on the way home from soccer practice. Mountains, that incidentally, their <em>children will never see, as they're watching Disney videos in the tv set in the back of the headrest!</em> These kids couldn't find their way home from school, because they've never looked up to see the route!<br /><br />I won't even go into the specifics of selling sportscars and oversized pick-up trucks to suburban men who'll only ever drive them to commute to the train station. It seems like forever since they began selling these as big-ticket Wonderbras for the ever insecure male phallus. A sociological phenomenom that has caused science and the pharma industry (a rant for another day) to dedicate themselves wholly to the search for the neverending middle-aged erection.<br /><br />An automobile is a major purchase, in most anyone's budget. They should always have been going to great pains to assure us they got that. But they didn't. They hired marketers, who put together 'focus groups', and they waved doo-dads like OnStar and GPS, and brighter headlights than the other guy in their faces, and convinced themselves, the focus groups, and us (in that order) that those were the important components in making that investment.<br /><br />And they started to fail. And when they did, instead of putting their faith and trust in a workforce that was proven, that had made them, they cut costs and workers to retain profit margins.<br /><br />And they continued to fail. So we bailed them out. With very few conditions, and no demand for attrition.<br /><br />So in a way, we all share a measure of blame, for the fact they remain unrepentent dirtbags. They haven't changed. It's not in them to admit mistakes. They've learned nothing. Because they didn't have to lose anything. They STILL wave shiny baubles in front of us, while we gurgle like babies staring at $30,000 mobiles, just out of reach above our crib.<br /><br />I really hoped they would have re-evaluated the choices that led them to the brink of non-existence. But 2010 brought another year of asinine commercials urging us to buy a car...Sorry, that's <strong><em>BUY A GODDAMNED CAR </em></strong>because it will read our text messages to us. Or because the entertainment system is equipped with THX theater quality sound.<br /><br />No,"Whoops, we get it. We'll fix it." No contrition. Just "Thanks for the cow. We used it to get more magic beans. Oh, and we ate the beans."<br /><br />These guys nearly destroyed an industry that was created in America, and thrived for decades, and they did it by investing in smug, superficial marketing campaigns, because it was easier and more lucrative than building a decent product. And they'll continue to do it, until we hold their feet to the fire....<br /><br />Which we should do after we herd them. Let them hop to the cliff.Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1886376048860767766.post-53042203419457235982010-02-08T08:53:00.000-08:002010-02-11T06:30:32.755-08:00The Pigs In The Fox House<div><em>There's only one thing to do...Only one thing that's gonna do any good at all, and that's everybody just look at it...and turn your backs and say, "Fuck it."</em> -Ken Kesey, Vietnam Day speech 1965</div><br /><br /><div><em>I'm a ratings guy</em>. -Roger Ailes, Fox News Chairman, 2010</div><br /><br /><div>There's a tendency that we have as Americans, to never let the conflict go until we've destroyed the opposition utterly. It's a quality that by turns endears us to, and frustrates the rest of world. When we perceive injustice, (most particularly when we're the aggrieved party) we wade in with both fists, often for the sake of something as intangible as honor.</div><br /><br /><div>Or at least we like to think we do. These days we're more likely to make a great deal of noise about an issue, and move on. Today the offenses roll at us so fast, and from so many directions that we often feel overwhelmed. You spend 45 minutes on the phone before you speak to a human. Your insurance premiums have gone up. So has the interest rate on your bank card. We've become inured to being treated thoughtlessly by faceless corporate automatons. Sure, we get angry but it's not sustainable, because there's nowhere specific to direct it, and besides a newer, fresher outrage is always just around the corner.</div><br /><br /><div>We're the generation that invented <em>outrage fatigue.</em> We grumble, and we marvel at how much nerve they have treating us so callously. But then we give in. We pay the late charge, we agree to the Ticketmaster '<em>convenience fee', </em>even while we're inventing new ways to curse them and wish them ill.</div><br /><br /><div>At most, we start a Facebook group decrying how shabbily we've been used; <em>'If We Get 1,000,000 Fans, Steve Jobs Has To Kiss A Mule's Butt', </em>or<em> 'Tell Congress To Legalize The Use Of Deadly Force For School Bus Drivers NOW!'.</em> Maybe we sign a petition. And we feel we've done our part. Or at least made our voice heard. If nothing else we've shared our anger and frustration with like-minded people.</div><br /><br /><div>Or you can start another angry blog.</div><br /><br /><div>If you're liberal, or moderate, or just more in control of your faculties than say...Travis Bickle, you're already probably not getting your news from Fox. Their 24 hour cable channel is a non-stop nightmare of demented right-wing propaganda. It's no longer a viable subject of debate. It's a fully partisan valentine to basically any politician willing to sell himself to corporate oligarchy. And it's shamelessly so. They hired Sarah Palin!</div><br /><br /><div>So if you haven't already stopped reading this, it's likely that you're not watching Fox News.</div><br /><br /><div>I saw a clip recently of Roger Ailes defending his news service, with all the weapons you'd expect him to use. Highest ratings, harumph. Most Trusted News, harumph, his jowls jiggling below his shoulders, looking more hideous than a Ralph Steadman caricature of him ever could. His whole being seemed to radiate contempt that he should be bothered to explain himself to the unwashed masses. "I'm a ratings guy,"he says.</div><br /><br /><div>Well, maybe so. There's nothing you and I can do about the ratings of his nasty cable behemoth. We can't not watch any more than we already are. But you know what? He really pissed me off. I admit, when it comes to his company, and the things they stand for, I'm already fairly volatile. It takes very little to set me off. But his above-it-all demeanor, pushed me over the top (again).</div><br /><br /><div>So I've decided to stop availing myself of anything Fox. That's anything that's held by News Corp. <a href="http://www.spiritus-temporis.com/news-corporation/holdings.html">http://www.spiritus-temporis.com/news-corporation/holdings.html</a></div><br /><br />That's a lot of stuff, right? Some things that I'll really miss. I was a fan of Matt Groening when I found 'Life In Hell' in the <em>Chicago Reader </em>before there even was Fox Network, and I'm a shameless Simpsons fan-boy. Same with Futurama. Fox also holds the rights to broadcast NFL games, and for better-or-worse I'm a loyal Bears fan.<br /><br />That also means I'll be checking for the 20th Century Fox logo before I attend, buy, or rent a movie. <br /><br />Of course, I understand in this exciting technological age we live in, it's possible to find all these things online for free, anyway. Not that I would ever do that, or recommend anyone else do so. No matter how easy it is.<br /><br />And it's really, really easy.<br /><br />Look, all I'm saying is that I find Fox News practices odious enough, that I'm no longer willing to put ANY money in Rupert Murdoch's pocket. Last year in the 4th quarter, News Corp reported losses of $203 million. They're not wholly invulnerable. And while I don't believe that Roger Ailes is really "a ratings guy", so much as a slobbering tool, being used by a powerful foreigner to shape American culture and politics, I'd be curious to see if his (and Fox's) behavior could be modified by some financial setbacks.Don Hamelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15461254705093704553noreply@blogger.com0